perfectworry: do you think you could cut him out with a knife? (he loved your marrow)
李杏 | Frances J., a lion-hearted girl ([personal profile] perfectworry) wrote2015-12-02 09:46 pm

[original: kerrigan & logan] How to Return Home

title: How to Return Home
rating: G
word count: 618
prompt: Advent
pairing: Kerrigan+Logan
summary: Kerrigan is invited home for Christmas for the first time since she came out.
notes: another unedited one-shot of a 'verse I've never posted here before, but whatever Christmas.
warning: some queer angst about holiday dinners and unaccepting families

“Hi, Lo? Can I ask you a favor?”

Kerrigan leaned back in her chair, tipping it up on two legs so it nearly touched Logan’s across the narrow space between their desks, but she didn’t look up at him.

“Yup?” Logan paused in the middle of a sentence.

“I was thinking about Christmas, you know, and…” Kerrigan stared determinedly down at her chipped silver and gold nail polish. “Mom called me a couple of days ago, and…”

Logan sat and listened, but he stayed facing away from Kerrigan.

“Grandma’s sick, you know? Like, really sick. Like, this might be her last Christmas sick, and…” Kerrigan rubbed her eyes. Her voice cracked and she took a long swig from the orange juice carton on the floor next to her desk.

Still, Logan didn’t say anything, but let Kerrigan start and stop.

“Grandma wants me to come home for Christmas,” she said, finally. “Mom says it’s OK, and Dad. Ian’s wanted me back for years, but I haven’t been since high school.”

“You went home for sophomore spring break,” said Logan.

“I had pneumonia,” said Kerrigan “The health center kicked me off campus, remember? And that’s different. I was high on cough medicine. Christmas with my parents’ place is… I mean, it’s a whole ‘nother level.”

“Ah, yes, the dreaded Tenth Circle of Hell, where they send the queers and weirdos to holiday dinners with the family.” Logan tried to bite back some of his bitterness, but it escaped.

“Sorry, Lo. That’s not what I meant.” Kerrigan turned towards him now. “I meant… D’you want to come?”

Logan twisted in his chair to look at her. “As your boyfriend?”

“What? No! I mean as my friend. I want you to meet Grandma, and this might be your last chance. She’s making honey ham.”

“You know I can’t turn down a free meal,” said Logan. He forced a smile.

“You don’t have to,” stammered Kerrigan. “I mean. If it’s too weird.”

“It’s weird as hell,” admitted Logan, “but I want to meet your grandma and eat her food.”

Kerrigan smiled. Relief washed over her. If Grandma was as sick as Ian said, then this would be her last Christmas, and Kerrigan couldn’t bear to miss it. But she hadn’t eaten Christmas dinner with her family since she came out, and she didn’t think she could do it alone.

“Thank you, Lo.” Kerrigan wiped her face on her sleeve.

“You owe me,” said Logan.

Logan resumed typing before this little scene had the chance to get sappy and weird. Kerrigan sniffled and downed the last of her juice, so Logan did her the favor of pretending she was coming down with a cold, not crying.

Kerrigan rested her chin on her hands and let the steady rhythm of Logan’s typing wash over her. The screen blurred in front of her eyes. She blinked back tears. Forcing herself to sit up, she opened up a blank email
To: Mom, Dad, Ian
From: Kerrigan
Subject: Re: Christmas dinner

Dear Mom,

Term ends on the 18th. There’s a bus on the 21st in the morning that gets home at 2 in the afternoon. Can you or Ian meet us at the depot?

My friend Ian is coming. Grandma already sent money for his bus ticket. He’s not my boyfriend.

I love you. I’ll see you in a few weeks.

Merry Christmas,
Kerrigan took a deep breath and hit Send.

“It’s official,” she said. “Thanks again, Lo.”

“No need to thank me,” said Logan, shrugging.

“I couldn’t do this without you, you know.”

Kerrigan meant it. She was haunted by the ghosts of Christmases past.

“Yes, you could,” said Logan, “but I won’t make you.”